Sunday, 4 November 2007
Wednesday, 18 April 2007
Time for change
After lunch, the roles with reversed. During the afternoon's meetings, Victoria started to look a bit like I felt a day before in the disco light showroom. She was managing quite well, commendably paying some interest whilst she was shown around a plethora of Christmas lighting displays. But her face told me that she was properly in the corridor, and standing up in front of the bright lights was about to finish her off.
I couldn't help myself, though.
The woman who was doing the demonstration was clearly knowledgeable and enthusiastic, so I knew that she would know the full details of the patent controversy that affects LED lights when used in Christmas decorations (it really is as fascinating as it sounds). So I walked over, and calmly asked the woman to explain to "my new colleague Victoria" all of the problems caused by this patent arrangement. Serves her right for making fun of me sleeping at the table in the Japanese restaurant.
Later, we went back to Mong Kok where Victoria bought handfuls of copy watches all with brands which I had never heard of, illustrating a difference in our upbringing that I attribute primarily to her having lived on a gated estate near Rickmansworth. The "estate" I was brought up on was a bit different. Having brought a procession of unused and overpriced items on previous visits to Hong Kong, I've been pleased not to buy anything on this trip. Victoria though has first-trip buying tendencies - in addition to the watches, there's a new phone (which looks fabulous, to be fair) and numerous bits of clothing and at least one handbag.
We had dinner at a traditional Chinese restaurant in MK (the real MK, not the one with the snowdome) and I managed to get a bit more sleep in at the table. Those four minutes were enough to keep me up for most of the night. In the end, I slept for just under three hours. Now we've packed and left Hong Kong, and are on the way to China for two days. I wonder if Victoria knows just what she's letting herself in for. Hong Kong can be quite posh, exciting and always air-conditioned. China is usually dirty, only partially complete and never fitted with a working lift. I can't wait to see her face when presented with the "VIP toilet" key in one of the factories we will visit.
Tuesday, 17 April 2007
Sleep and sushi
After the meeting yesterday afternoon, we had two hours in the hotel before dinner last night. Obviously, I should have gone for a run or a swim to try and improve the trouser non-fitting situation, but in the end I slept for an hour and woke up in a panic, thinking I was late for dinner. In the end, that brief sleep assured two things: first, that I would feel awful and totally exhausted during the dinner, and second, that at 2am, 3am and 4am, I would be completely unable to sleep again.
At 4.30am, I managed to fall asleep for three hours. This felt like an achievement, but, to be honest, the ten minutes' sleep I just had on the table in the Japanese restaurant felt much more rewarding. No wonder people find me such riveting company.
Today, we've already been for a meeting with a toy company where, with the aid of an inflatable cricket set, I was able to confirm to myself that I'm probably unsuitable for selection to the England cricket squad, being totally unable to handle the not particularly demanding girl-throws from Victoria. Now we have meetings with Christmas tree light companies (I think tiredness can be excused in these meetings, irrespective of the circumstances) and then a remote-control car company. I know I'm male, and therefore I should find the prospect of driving tiny little cars at high speeds around a showroom floor exciting, but to be honest, the best thing about the company is that I think it's a fair distance away and I might be able to manage a few minutes sleep in the taxi.
William and Victoria want to go for a walk now. Well, when I say William AND Victoria, but I think it's just William that wants to go. Victoria looks a bit like me - thinking that it would be great if William would go, so that she can lay down on the seat here and sleep.
I just remembered the fun we had this morning with the "touchable" photo frame. Touchable? Well, it held four photographs and when you touched each photograph, the thing would play a pre-recorded message. So, in the model they had, they had a picture of a family on a beach, and when you touched it, it said something like, "here we are on the beach in California". It might sound an awful product, but the situation was redeemed when, with everyone else distracted, me and Victoria discovered how to re-record the messages. Suffice to say that the next people to receive the product demonstration will have a nice... surprise.
Off now to see if I can sleep whilst walking.
At 4.30am, I managed to fall asleep for three hours. This felt like an achievement, but, to be honest, the ten minutes' sleep I just had on the table in the Japanese restaurant felt much more rewarding. No wonder people find me such riveting company.
Today, we've already been for a meeting with a toy company where, with the aid of an inflatable cricket set, I was able to confirm to myself that I'm probably unsuitable for selection to the England cricket squad, being totally unable to handle the not particularly demanding girl-throws from Victoria. Now we have meetings with Christmas tree light companies (I think tiredness can be excused in these meetings, irrespective of the circumstances) and then a remote-control car company. I know I'm male, and therefore I should find the prospect of driving tiny little cars at high speeds around a showroom floor exciting, but to be honest, the best thing about the company is that I think it's a fair distance away and I might be able to manage a few minutes sleep in the taxi.
William and Victoria want to go for a walk now. Well, when I say William AND Victoria, but I think it's just William that wants to go. Victoria looks a bit like me - thinking that it would be great if William would go, so that she can lay down on the seat here and sleep.
I just remembered the fun we had this morning with the "touchable" photo frame. Touchable? Well, it held four photographs and when you touched each photograph, the thing would play a pre-recorded message. So, in the model they had, they had a picture of a family on a beach, and when you touched it, it said something like, "here we are on the beach in California". It might sound an awful product, but the situation was redeemed when, with everyone else distracted, me and Victoria discovered how to re-record the messages. Suffice to say that the next people to receive the product demonstration will have a nice... surprise.
Off now to see if I can sleep whilst walking.
Monday, 16 April 2007
Fade to black
I hadn't been doing so badly today. OK, I'd been up since 4am and I'd commendably managed to sustain myself during the morning. I got through two meetings and had just had lunch, when I found myself fading away a bit. I thought to myself, don't panic - it's just a post-lunch lull. By the time we get to the next meeting, everything will be fine.
Fine? Our next meeting was on the 13th floor. The building was a bit, er, "ramshackle", and the lift only went as far as the 12th floor and we had to go up to the fire escape to make it to the "showroom". I think my fridge is a fair bit bigger than the room we had to squeeze in to.
But the worst part was how quickly I faded. I sat down and nearly passed out. They turned on the disco balls, flashing linkable lights and smoke machines, so the whole thing felt like a hallucination - I swear to you, I was sleeping with my eyes open. Everyone was looking at me to say something. They're still waiting.
Back down the fire escape and into a taxi and I did pass out. Then the door opened, I fell out onto the road and now I'm writing this in my next meeting.
I feel quite perky, actually.
Fine? Our next meeting was on the 13th floor. The building was a bit, er, "ramshackle", and the lift only went as far as the 12th floor and we had to go up to the fire escape to make it to the "showroom". I think my fridge is a fair bit bigger than the room we had to squeeze in to.
But the worst part was how quickly I faded. I sat down and nearly passed out. They turned on the disco balls, flashing linkable lights and smoke machines, so the whole thing felt like a hallucination - I swear to you, I was sleeping with my eyes open. Everyone was looking at me to say something. They're still waiting.
Back down the fire escape and into a taxi and I did pass out. Then the door opened, I fell out onto the road and now I'm writing this in my next meeting.
I feel quite perky, actually.
Forgotten something?
Predictably, there is a little sign in the bathroom saying that if, hypothetically, I should have forgotten any of the items listed, that they can be delivered to my room free of charge. You know the sort of things: toothbrush, shaving kit, sewing kit... none of the stuff I actually need.
What did I forget to bring?
1. Trousers that fit. I've brought plenty that are some distance away from being do-up-able, and another without a button (note to self - must get that sorted, and stop taking that pair away with me on business trips until fixed). But only one pair that resemble anything that could be described as wearable.
2. A belt. OK, so I managed one pair of trousers, but not a belt to keep them up. The same belt might have got me out of jail with some of the other pairs too, in an emergency.
3. My iPod. Technically not forgotten on this trip, but left on the plane on the way back from Paris last week. (Yes, Linda, I'm still going on about it). Good news is that its replacement has made the trip here successfully, although I'm sure to abandon it on the plane to China on Wednesday.
4. An ability to sleep for more than 15 minutes. On the positive side, it's a deep sleep. I think I've managed nearly an hour's sleep in the last 3 days. I feel positively refreshed.
5. Business cards. To be honest, this is genius on my part, and learned from bitter experience. If you give them a business card during a meeting, I've apparently given written permission to phone daily. Now I try and avoid giving even my name to anyone, even though sometimes this causes me problems checking in for a flight.
I pressed the "Delighted to Serve" button on the phone in the room but they were unable to help with any of my missing items, but I'm sure that, like Linda, they were "delighted" to hear the story of the lost iPod.
What did I forget to bring?
1. Trousers that fit. I've brought plenty that are some distance away from being do-up-able, and another without a button (note to self - must get that sorted, and stop taking that pair away with me on business trips until fixed). But only one pair that resemble anything that could be described as wearable.
2. A belt. OK, so I managed one pair of trousers, but not a belt to keep them up. The same belt might have got me out of jail with some of the other pairs too, in an emergency.
3. My iPod. Technically not forgotten on this trip, but left on the plane on the way back from Paris last week. (Yes, Linda, I'm still going on about it). Good news is that its replacement has made the trip here successfully, although I'm sure to abandon it on the plane to China on Wednesday.
4. An ability to sleep for more than 15 minutes. On the positive side, it's a deep sleep. I think I've managed nearly an hour's sleep in the last 3 days. I feel positively refreshed.
5. Business cards. To be honest, this is genius on my part, and learned from bitter experience. If you give them a business card during a meeting, I've apparently given written permission to phone daily. Now I try and avoid giving even my name to anyone, even though sometimes this causes me problems checking in for a flight.
I pressed the "Delighted to Serve" button on the phone in the room but they were unable to help with any of my missing items, but I'm sure that, like Linda, they were "delighted" to hear the story of the lost iPod.
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